Friday, December 14, 2012

Finding the Light

Light streaming through the clouds at the Konza Prairie in Kansas
(Image by Turklish)
As this never-ending week finally does…end.  I am finding myself even more breathless running around with knots in my stomach and so many loose ends left raveling away.  This week has been a rough one to say the least.  I definitely underestimated the time I would need to finalize many, many details and projects and I did not take into account the inevitable wild card failures - like my computer model crashing and corrupting - twice!  Or such as computer issues that will not allow me to install the software I need most to continue my research while in Turkey - leaving me with no choice but to go for the next month without it (which is a blessing and a curse all wrapped in one). 

With the harried pace this week and with the one I love most so far away and somewhat out of reach, it has been the many interactions with family and friends that have helped buoy me out of the murky water for a breath of air when I felt I was too tired to keep swimming along. 

In fact, I just arrived back at my office to try to give one final burst of effort at this gosh-darn-so-frustrating-I-just-want-to-smash-my-computer model, after a lovely Turkish coffee and pastry at a friends house.  As I now watch the model plug along, hopefully doing what it is suppose to do, I have some time to contemplate and evaluate the potpourri of thoughts sprinkled throughout my mind.

While I feel downtrodden,  I am trying to keep my thoughts on the big picture of "Life", because my problems are really small fries compared to the large issues of the week.

For example, today has been another dark day for Americans, with another school shooting - one of the worst yet - with 27 murdered.  Facebook is buzzing with anti-gun posts and comments, which I couldn't agree with more.  This country has the worst death rate by personal weapons IN THE WORLD!  Yet we cling to our second amendment rights to bear arms and refuse to see that the historical precedence to bear arms during the American Revolution is no longer necessary in our present society.   I think we all have a heavy heart today, and I don't want to go on a political rant so I think I'll stop here.

The second dark bit of news should actually be the subject of a more complete, complex, well-thought out post. (Which I hope to write soon.)  For now, let me just say that the political ramifications of the Syrian war are now at our doorstep in Turkey. 

I'll leave things here and try to see the light that should be pulling me through this dark tunnel right now.  In the end, work is just work and love is what really matters in this world.  I have so much love around me right now and I feel it so tightly wrapped around me that I have to choke back a few tears. The world is a very dark place at times, yet we can all make it a little brighter if we could just share a little more love and compassion.  So yes, of course, grab your closest loved one and give them a squeeze right now and make them feel loved.  But also, smile at the lonely man sitting alone on the curb with pain in his eyes, and forgive the driver hovering on the road 20 mph too slow in front of you, let the little things go and remember to always love.

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